second chances

2011-02-12T16:12:00.003+08:00

i am frustrating about my coin bank.
Why the sorter cannot sort old coins & new coins?
Dont you think our technology is not that good compare to those high tech in Japan.
Haiis, somemore the sorter dont hav a slot for putting notes. SO troublesome sia!!

Still need to buy those expensive machine sorter?
What can the machine sorter do??
Detect counterfeit coins too???
Detect foreign coins also??
I think these machine sorter jus merely sort the coins only and those rejected ones will jus put in a slot.
Well, who can solve my problem.

2010-07-13T23:06:00.002+08:00

how i wish that the time will stop at the first month when i start my counter, now my colleagues were expecting perfection from me. I have to set an example and at least some product knowledge to teach me juniors. Oh my goodness, i really cant breathe without kim & siti. I think i took granted of them. Now i faced the stressed as them. Managers were eye-stamped, they couldnt see how much i tried to help to clear the queues. And yet they eventually said that i m making trouble for others. HELLO!! then when they are doing slowly why they are nt in fault? i dont understand.

I really dont understand what are they thinking abt?
hope there is someone i really can ask for guideness.

2010-06-24T00:00:00.002+08:00

today i worked half day till 3pm, eventually i was going to meet boyboy de. I called him and he asked me to look for a towel at NTUC. So i went round and round.. in the meanwhile i bought tibits to eat over there. After i paid the tibits, i was abt to call boyboy. I saw him walkiing towards me. HAhas.. Its was a shocking and memorable day for me..

So we went to marketplace for lunch, we had hokkien mee, duck rice and satay with aloe vera ice jelly. Hahaahahahs.... Forget to take photo for moments. It will be in my memory forever, this is to shut up my mouth by not saying he nv come fetch me at all. hahas.

this friday he will be doing his reborning of hair. Wahh!!! he will be more handsome and i am going to be more jealous again.. so sad!!

i wondered how happy he was during his birthday??
we went to Go Kart for 2 rounds, prirate ship and half way haunted house , becos i cried of scary.
after tt we were angry of two sales associate of prudential approaching us when we were hunger of death. They were nt kind enuff to give us leave.

2010-06-11T23:43:00.002+08:00

its had been few mths i not blogging..

working for abt 3 mths, recently i excess cash and need to write report for managers.
Luckily baby have been supporting me and always be here for me. I m so touched.

Thinking what can i do for him , except cash.
hope we can stay longer.

2010-05-10T22:40:00.002+08:00

its my 2nd month of the job, i start to work without mentors. Only officers to guide me along when necessary. I felt so clumsy and careless.
I gave troubles to officer amy and constance.
My manager start to leave me alone and gave me alot of stressed.

I know they want me to learn fast. expect me to know as much as possible.
cos they wan me to handle alone.

i still haven rmb which documents shld present to officer b4 approved.
haiis, today i make a very big mistake.
i gav my voucher to customer, oh no!!
And my casting of cash was not properly done and my narration wasnt good.

so sad so sad..

i must work harder.
strive to achieve!
love you baby

2010-05-01T01:38:00.002+08:00

its been a while i have not blogging..
after my 3 weeks of trainin in L&D. finally i have passed my deployment test.
So far so good, i am in my own branch.
With the help of my mentors, i get more hands on and heard their teachings.
I learnt alot from them, but i am sick. I dun hav much attention due to fatigue.
Hoping forward my recovery and get ready to start my own counter.

Baby has been supporting since day 1. he oso got sick and in the mid of recovery.
We went to watch IP Man 2 and its very touched.
he oso wasted alot of effort to make my day lively.

Hope our days will be better.
I am nt too bad in luck. But i am fortunate to have baby.

2010-04-14T20:51:00.002+08:00

today morning i put on my lenses. i felt painful.
to be frank, i really cant see clearly on my specs le.
But i cant change.

so very rush, i took mrt to kovan and realised my bus ran away,
so i quickly run to mrt and take to serangoon.
i ran to the inter and take another bus to my workplace.

Whoo~ i managed to reach b4 11pm. Luckily, there was a PFC opening door for me.
It was a eye catching of our premier banking.
That lift to our second storey was so slow.

Den i was attached to a PTBO same rank as me. She was same age as me too.
Young and fast and agile.
A good example for me..
We eat lunch tgt and go hm tgt.

I understand i am new, so they tend to crack jokes abt me.
So jus crack wif them. So fake but at least can survive till closing.
I am freezing cold.

Bb scold me for nt doing things right.
SInce i working for so many days,
he had been complainin abt me.
I dun understand why he so concern abt my work affairs.
I am tired cos i need to study and work at the same time.
I dun hav extra time for him.
he nagged, he complains, he fussed. he messed.

Haiis, hope this will stopp my ears from hurting.

2010-04-12T22:25:00.003+08:00

i am damm frustrated!!
This morning i almost late for work.
My stomach upset, my test buang~
Now i jus receive a damm big bad news.
I gt a early termination from M1.
Shit man~
Becos of my careless, my eye stamped.
I have to bear the charges.
I am fully in debts.
How could i able to work in peace?
I am still worrying abt my training will buang and end up i get nothin

Really nothing!!
Let me die for the sake.
My head cracks.
I am so bad luck.
Am i a jinx?

2010-04-06T20:40:00.002+08:00

today is my second day of my work. I reached work place early. I worn as normal as a promoter attire. I looked shagged and basic make up. which my colleague said i didnt put on. Haiis, no blusher = No make up.

The lecturer asked for more qns, i asked but she didnt praise me whereas she did praise the girl beside me. Haiis, mayb i asked stupid qns. I worried that my doubts were nt asked and my brains was bursting. Though i managed to copy everything, but i am confused.

During lunch break, everyone took their hps out and start their own activity as we went to food stall. But me, i did not bring. Why? cos my baby is MIA. I felt disappointed and discouraged whenever i looked at my phone. I wished he can be the first one to message me. But when i call him, he is having fun. Give me a reason not to disturb me. I am not stupid to leave my hp sounded. I am in a bad mood cos i am stressed out. I thought he will wait for me outside.

It was once heartwarming,
he was sweet and nice.
he gave me once.

But this will happen once in the lifetime.

Things changes after i settled down.
Everyday i will be training like Uni study for their exams.
4 hours to absorb whole book, 3 hours to absorb whole lesson.
8 hours of separating from baby.

And i started to panic and fear..
did he understand my pain?
I jus wan some supportive words, and encouragement.
I do not want to breakdown like what lecturer hopes to see.

2010-04-01T13:10:00.002+08:00

Its was a complicated wedding dream i had.

I asked for a day before to spend with my family and also let baby to spend with his mother.
Then one day, we have to try on our wedding suit again and confirm our planning of tables and food. Baby brought his parents but not mine. I asked baby do we have to get a vegetarian menu jus for his mum. His mum looked at me. She mumbling and said dont need.

However, baby was trying to be proud again. He asked for more tables where 20 tables is enuff.
In the meantime, he have a call and after the call. He did not have the mood to discuss with the planner. Jus wann to leave as soon as possible. I felt upset. I told him, if u dun wan to listen or give comments den i dont marry. I dont give a damm. I wann to have my wedding perfect.

He told me he lost a contract by a friend. den planning for guests to the wedding dinner. I make a request, i dun wan to invite his sixth uncle and fourth uncle. I afraid that they might spoilt my wedding.

after that i am thinking i shall not ask so many bridemaids to acc me but looks like nobody will bully baby for coming to open my veil.

Haiis, den have to discuss whether to call my mum "MA" or "Mummy". How to process the traditional tea session. As i knew baby do not earn so much at that moment, but i do not want my parents to take out their money to spend on my wedding. It shld be baby the one who have to fork out, Cant share~ Cos he is the one marrying me, however he ask me to fork out some if i wan a grand wedding.

Ended up we dun have larbogini and 30 tables, we hav rented mercedes and catering in the ballroom.

Actually i dun mind to have simple wedding dinner, just that i do not wish anyone to spoil my wedding and i dun wish my parents to worry about my wedding.

2010-03-27T22:44:00.002+08:00

its a tiring day,
i went to crocs sales with gelvin , linda & dickson.
There wasnt much stocks left.
Luckily linda managed to buy a pair of sandal tt she like.

Then we moved on to TM for our dinner at Kim Gary restuarant.
We had a great time chatting and eating till full.
Actually wanted to ask them for majong session.
But both are tired and have to wake up early next morning.

So we went home and upload photos.
hmm.. its a wonderful couple dates.
Hope everyone have their wishes come true.

2010-03-27T00:06:00.002+08:00

Full Time Housewife VS Part Time Volunteer

i woke up from my dream and felt very sleepy.
i continued to slp till 8 plus den slowly drink milo.
changed to attire.

Ready to meet baby.
He still in bed.
I prepared his food,
clothes, bag & shower.

After he finished, we went to Ren Ci to do volunteer.
He count coins while i calculate notes.
During lunch, i ate chicken rice, he ate char siew rice.
den we finished the counting.
We packed all in bags and off to Novena square window shopping

its been long time we have not shopping as lovely dovey b4.
den we went TPY to look for my new handset.
Luckily baby was clever enuff to call to the headquarter.
Finally, we managed to know.

In the meanwhile, I going to meet my sisters ( devoted gals)..
ACtually, i dun wish to spend on Kbox.
since everyone wishes to sing, so i am.

Though can feel slight strange feeling from swee ying,
but her characteristic in singing will nv change.
Hope everyone enjoys.

BAck to baby's house, he came to fetch me home.
I nv tot that he will allow me to sing till so late.
Well, i sensed something strange.
But still have to trust him.
Cos this is the way he loves me....

So i have to trust that he really loves me..
Hahas hugs hugs tickle ticks...

2010-03-25T23:13:00.002+08:00

cooking time~
it was a scorching weather in the morning, i wake up at 7.30am.
Prepared to go baby hse.
Who knows, my dear baby is still sleeping~
Den i reached his hse, he went to slp again den eat breakfast.

I felt tired, so i took a nap.
He went to slp too.. till 9 plus.
We went out to Kopitam de wet market buy fruits with his mum..
Baby took out his hp and we watch the show from his hp till we reach amk.

Hahas, den Ah gong was so excited.
His Aunt oso eagered to start the session.

Cutting of Gu Cai
Chopping of Shrimps, Onion, Garlics, Mushrooms
Cooking of all mixture
Blend the Mi Tai Bak

After that Ah gong start to knob the dough and he rmbs the days he spent in the past.
He rmb me, still ask me to eat more.
So warming touch heart souls in the house.

I felt so touching..
I felt embarressed.
Hahas. cos i have to speak bad teochew to them.
Sian.

I ate 6 of it, so happily today enjoy my time with them
Esp baby by my side.
I love him~

2010-03-24T23:37:00.002+08:00

so excited about our graduation trip.
Dunno what to bring,
worry about clothes,
worry about limitation of water,
worry about the attractions,
worry about money.

Since my poly friend emailed me the flight and other plans.
I began to search for more best valued package.
But the lowest fare indeed in Tiger Airway.
The resort she found is 3 star but its lowest range.

So glad that we have such a good friend.
I wanted to earn more more money to bring baby go overseas.

Heard from grandson,
he is going to phuket too but is mid may,
den go hongkong at end of may den go china on june.
Soo good~

2010-03-18T23:57:00.002+08:00

sometimes baby shout, angry, flared up.
all he will ask me an closed ended question.
let me answer yes. Obviously~

I felt so stressed. While i am trying to be cheerful and happily faced the next day.
But baby jus wann to keep on reminding me..
my financial
my job
my clothes
my lifestyle

I dunno why he suddenly care for me so much.. over to my extend.
I dunno this is a good news or is a bad news.

It seems understanding of him. But i felt that he is only showing other people.
how lazy
how bad
how childish
how carefree
how happiness
i am.

And he will say to me that he is doing all this becos he care for me.
when other guys fail to do their part, he will say he is the best.
i should be happy that i have him.

i didnt denied that.
but everything seems becos of him.
He totally forgotten how depressed i was before.

i was enthusiatic once.
but so many years passed.
i am tired.
i wan to rest.

thinking baby wann to get out of the well.
everything oso wan to do,
do to the extend.
let him be.

2010-03-09T23:46:00.002+08:00

Feeling moody, this week i have been looking for jobs and there is no reply none of them. Today went down to REN CI Hospital again with gelvin mum. This time round, baby accompanying with us. I tot i tot that he will come with us together. But he woke up late and met us later. I felt so moody in the whole morning. Becos i felt uneasy and nauseous, due to ytd night i eaten uncooked food during the steamboat. I had a uncomfortable in the whole night. My stomach aches and felt wann to vomit. Until now, i am still stomach aches. i guess stomach is upsetting..

rmb i say, gelvin mum told her friends that i am her neighbour daughter, hmm.. baby called me "dear" and i saw his mum looking very dull. I guessed she afraid of gossiping. Nevertherless, baby treat good as the same before. He did not neglect me or wann keep low profile. hehes.. he is good to me. But i am fussying about his mum's attitude. well, older generation is like this. As soon as possible, my mum will start to nag me about baby's future. haiis, we are stressing uh!!

Tonight, baby is tired. i helped him to do updates for property thingy.. Its already going to reach midnight. Hahas, baby and me do not dare to tell his mum tml we are going to watch movie. otherwise, we will be send to volunteer work again.

Actually, volunteer work is mend to be willingness. I understand his mum wann us to get FU BAO. But we are still young, in an energentic of chasing what is outside. We do not have enuff time for our own mushy romance and work. How could we have time to do those thing without salary? that is mend for elderly or middle age housewives people who have alot of time to spend at home. Maybe once a while in a month, not always...

Argh!! quickly get me a job...

2010-03-05T22:52:00.002+08:00

today went to REN CI Hospital in the morning with Gelvin's Mum to do volunteer work. I felt happy to help but i am very disappointed that his mum told her friends that i am her neighbour's daughter. Then when they asked her why i come, she keep very quiet. I went there because she asked me so i went. Do she know that i am very tired after going thru 3 interviews travelling.

I am vry upset, i dunno why she dun wan to admit the fact. Then when her friend asked why her son nv come, den she keep quiet. Haiis, i dunno what is she thinking.

Then i accompany his mum to serangoon with her friends for a few hrs, den i slept on the bus. Hmm, damm tired. She dun dare to ask me leave the bus first, cos she told a lie. So i have to go home with her, den eat dinner watch my show with baby.

Haiis, baby uh.. I really dunno who am i living for?
I just wann be myself, even i really wann live for baby, to the extend.
But am i worth to be?

2010-02-13T22:50:00.002+08:00

although it is new year eve, it shld be a happy festival. everyone shld be overjoying. But today this morning, i receives naggs from mum. After that, In bugis , we went to pendicure. End up i receive bad service and bad attitude. there was a xiao mei who smudge my ready nails and refused to do over. Hence i asked her to redo again. But she couldnt do well, for twice again.
I asked other girl to do, but i waited for 30 mins for them to do the last finish.

During the payment, we waited for 10 mins and i really flared up towards baby and family.
I was so pissed off that all shops were closed.
end up we couldnt get our shoes.

Baby came to our hse and buy a cake for our valentine day. Hahas.. I really did not prepare anything for him becos i dun hav $$.
Well, i guess i will buy a money clip for him.
Or surprises going on...

2010-02-13T00:44:00.002+08:00

today i asked baby abt a girl, named pei pei tan in her fb.
Baby admitted that he woo her during ite period.

Concidencely, the girl i met her before in ivan's photo. Hence, i asked ivan abt her.
Even thought that she is the one whom ivan been going out with for a year.
Then, baby said that she is mean to him during the pursuing..
Kekes.. ivan questioned me that how come baby so silly go woo her?

Then, ivan is more silly than him wor.. Cos he woo her for a year leh.
he say , this girl purposely try to speak english to him specially for him.
Tt why he is touched. hahas.

I dun understand why guys rather go for her type than me.
I guessed i am those kind of girl who wann to be myself , not becos of tt person and changed easily.

well, i am abit jealous abt her. Maybe becos baby like her once. which makes me feel inferior when comparing. I felt sad for the girl who once loved baby so much. Ended up baby did this to her. Perhaps, to baby i am jus a good doggy. So he came back to me.
And that's why i am not popular to guys.

2010-02-10T21:17:00.002+08:00

this week i went to do projects, den today i stay at home rot rot..
baby has been working hard for his studies, i cannot disturb him and think so much.
But.. imaginations tend to appear in my mind.

I watched a taiwan drama shows of two families conflicts and lead the young generations went into a scary plan to revenge on their parents.

Ning Jing's Father and Wei Jie's Mother were seeing each other, Wei Jie's Father knew that he had being a cuckold for so many years. He went to confront Ning Jing's Mother, but Ning Jing Mother did not show any anger any feelings to express herself. She told Wei Jie Father that this is impossible. Rather than Wei Jie 's Father could not take it anymore, he commit suicide.

The adults never thought Ning Jing overheard their conversation and she felt adults were liars, two headed snake and hypocritical. She was a very outgoing and cheerful little girl, ever since she got kidnapped due to her mum's negligence. She became a very quiet and seldom smile.

Who ever knows, such a innocent little girl in her 17 years old will become a devil.
During school time, she acts as an angel. At nite, she went to X-Zone with different men after contacting thru ICQ. She lost in the lust of love, she thought that every person has a dark side of them especially MEN. It was Wei Jie who bring her to release the beast in her and find the real side of her.

Ning Zhen was Ning Jing's twin elder sister. They looked both alike. Ning Jing alwys pretended as her sister in x-zone to flirt with those beasts. This is because she jealous with her, Ning Zhen always in her good luck, able to get parents' attention and everyone seems forgotten about ning jing's bad situation.

One day she found out that wei jie and her was in the same boat. Because they shared the same motive. Both hated their families. They wanted them to die. So they created a website specially for those students who get bullied in school or punished by school. They start their plan slowly and began the game by searching for their preys.

But who knows, Ning jing wanted to harm her sister while Wei jie had fallen in love with Ning Zhen. Wei jie and Ning Jing caught into quarrel and end up Ning Jing died.

The mystery begans, who killed Ning Jing.
It was her mother. Shocked?

Her mother knew about Ning Jing's prostitution, which this news will lead to her mother's future gone. In order to save her fame and reputation, she choose to be quiet and expelled one of the teacher who is one of Ning Jing customer.
She do not want this to spread outside and her daughter to destroy herself hence she made Ning Jing suffocated after Wei Jie pushed her down.

Ning Zhen knew all the truth upon investigating every clue, the more she knew the more ugly facts she is facing. Her mother commit sucide after exposing the truth to Ning Zhen.

To me: i would not tolerate such situation. I will not live in a illusion world of mine. I rather face into reality. I will not share my husband with other woman, i will fight for my rights.

2010-02-06T21:46:00.002+08:00

BABY~
I love you forever,
I m going to stick with you.
Do not say " Let me go".
Rmb my particulars, my characteristics and favourites.
I will test you on the day you wish to "hem hem" me wor.

Hahas.. thinking all these makes me feel happiness.
I want to shout at everyone:

I want to be with you.
I want to stay with you.
I want to side you.
I will be the one that you need.
I will be the one that you can confess to.

2010-02-04T16:33:00.002+08:00

its was so nervous, a lot of ideas was whirlling in my mind. I started first and ended up i gave ideas to my opponents. As i begin with my interests, teacher seems interested. Then, i told her that i am a patience person den jumped to " There was a customer, she want to know more about our products.....i tell the customer step by step". Teacher interupted and asked me " is that ur part time job?" Then she move on to the other candidate. I had not finished introducing myself. I missed alot i have to say.

Haiis, before the interview the other candidate told me that she never prepared for it. But during the interview, she answered very well becos she linked everything that required her to be a secretary. Should i say this is by luck?

After the interview ends, teacher commented on me that i should NOT even talk about my interest becos the requirement does not need a singer or a swimmer. She was confused when i talked about the steps of how to handle the washing. I should say that i am able to handle with customer enquires.

Haiis, is that becos of my communication breakdown or there is no one could able understand WHAT THE HELL I AM TALKING?

I dun understand WHY?

why is it so difficult to understand my language, i am jus simple minded.
I am jus trying to pin point to the main topic i was trying to say!

this problem has been making me so frustrated and no confidence in me.
How should i do?
Dont ask me to change, dun lecture me.
The way i want to present my words does not came out the same that i want to say. Thats all.

难道就没有一个人能了解我在说什么吗？

2010-01-28T17:04:00.002+08:00

i have a very bad impression in Fujiflim at compass point. They are there to serve us right?
i made my payment already, i went to collect my photos. I asked for photo album and the sales girl said that have but must buy. I am thinking that i have more than 20 pieces i should have one at least. I worked before this line and i know! Or maybe she shld apologized to me that she cant give me.

Gosh~ she asked me whether i wan a plastic bag. of cos i want! den she place it on the desk and expect me to slot myself. the salegirl was crossing her arms and looking at me putting it into the bag. Oh my god!!!!!!!

How could this happen?
She dun have a sense of responsibility in serving customers and left unattended. SHE is jus chasing out customers forever. I will never never go to the shop and wash photos again. I rather go to simei and wash.

2010-01-25T01:32:00.002+08:00

it is our 9mth anniversary..

we have our maverlleous cream in 313 somerset.
i never bring enuff money end up, baby paid for it.
hahas..so paiseh~

den happily went home, on the way..
in the mrt~ there is a seat, i thought he wanted to sit. but he gave me that seat.
but there were both mens in between. i felt so squeezy~
i sit very upright and near to the front. baby keep asking me to move backwards.
doesnt he know that, like this i will get advantge by those men.

hais, i felt insecured. esp it was an indian. another one read newspaper until so big way.
luckily baby came to sit w me for 2 stops. hahas...

2010-01-24T00:28:00.002+08:00

today wear colour contact lens to work, thinkin it was our 9 mth anniversary eve wann give baby a surprise. but it was uncomfortable in my eyes, haiiis.. baby was trying to make me feel proud, he oso wann to buy contact lens.

reach workplace, some aunties feel that i wear specs better, cos without specs have the dark rings shown clearly. not nice..
some aunties think that i shld wear lens, look nicer.

the whole day, i try to get used to it with the lens. i think is becos of my eyes was lacking of tears. not blink enuff.

i accidentally scratch my hand, when i offered to help with opening the cardboard. it was still my penknife. hahas.. owner of it! luckily i nv 报怨, jus went to the toilet wash my wound. ok le no scar. hehes, i oso nv tell baby, cos i am no longer kid, dun need to bother baby such matter.

After my work, i went to buy the things for our family. den gt one auntie wann to combine with me. Ok, so i write the slip for her and went to pay. I never thought that the cashier misunderstand the way i wrote. ended up i paid twice the price. OMG!! i asked baby to refund back. Then, the cashier do the transaction again. i felt so sorry to her. Then she asked me to confirm izzit the price, i dunno whats going on in mind. I eventually agreed with the price. OMG!! den baby headaches again.. i dun like to see him like this. so sorry.

Den i offered to pay again, den baby write another slip for me to pay. Haiis, what am i thinking??

Den after the closing, i gave baby the anniversary coupon, expecting tt he will praise my handicraft well. But he seems felt troubled. not interested And confused of what i have done. I think i did the wrong thing again. He went up cine to see his shoes. he dun wan to try, we den move to 313, he looked and tried the clothes, he seems not interested in those i choose for him.
izzit i dunno what baby wants?? or because i am too tired to think.

hais, i jus want my baby to look good.

2010-01-21T20:36:00.002+08:00

baby bought purple contact lens for me~ yippee!!
we went to compass point with my mummy to shop shop, eat eat..
Last station - King Koil sofa. We try all sofas and decided to buy one of the sofas BUT
there was a display set. Dots~ well, mummy say wait for her next pay. Hahas. She wants to change our sofa.

Interviews, Grooming talk, Career Fairs, Grads Ceremony

Projects now on the way~ Hot hot

baby i love you..

2010-01-15T00:47:00.002+08:00

last chance but not second chance anymore

tonight i felt insecured,

he still haven reach home and yet did not give me a call

i dont wish to think so much,

because i believe that he was busy.

however, i do not understand why he wann to wish to stay back.

He told me to go home early,

but he does not do an example for me to see.

this situation will happen for the rest of the year.

This situation will never improve unless he really know what time is his curfew.

Feeling frustrated of him choosing this job.

I never stopped him,

i supported him into this area.

I guessed i have to be gracious and be his greatest asset.

I cant get into slp.

because he still haven reply me.

afraid of his future,

worried about our future.

2010-01-13T21:54:00.002+08:00

just finished my cover letter and baby's. CRM uh CRM~ i still cant get the right code.
Why? i have already done everything except for the login password. Who rmbs it?
Haiis, how come i nv save this lab.

Today, bought 4D as baby requested. Dun hav. Nevermind sat still gt one more chance.
Recently, busying with projects. Nearly neglect my baby, but baby also busy with his work. So both of us are struggling to overcome this.

Tomorrow i have to do another project. Sian.

2010-01-05T22:03:00.002+08:00

two more months i'm going to start my full time job.
before this happen, in this two months i have three major projects going on.
None of them is my specialized.
quite worried about the scores.
The more i try to finish faster, the more i am blur;
makes my assigned tasks not done properly.

baby have found a new job;
i hope he can do it better.
he wants to be a capable property agent.
earn millions of dollars.

the first approach he said to me;
we have to share our money in future.

the next thing he said was;
after my NS, if we are stable. we will go register house.

i am not prepared to accept none of them.
the first thing he asked from me is money before my hand.
i wondered, does he thinks that if he wants to use my big sum of money and dun need to pay back so he have to ask for my hand?

is he using his body to exchange my money?
i know why he wann to say that, he know that i am scared that i am in the disadvantage.
that is why he proposed this idea.

girls will afraid that bfs will spend all her money and disappeared.
now all girls are becoming career woman, or keep their personal savings well.
in case their husband spend away or take the money and leave her.
These situations will happen because of those dramas showing.

i jus wonder even we are stable in relationship but he cant able to manage his own expenses, do i still trust him, am i able to entrust my hand to him?

does he think of these consequences before he asked?
Or jus because he want me to share money with him so he ask me?

2010-01-04T20:12:00.002+08:00

accompany baby to suntec Mac Donald do projects,

give him kisses first

start doing my project.

His friend came,

his main focus on her.

I am waiting for him,

he responses to her very gentle.

Next friend came,

They had their own conversation.

I tried to join.

Never thought he know her so much;

She is a good girl.

am i neglected?

They left; we are late

He does not hold my hand.

I am disappointed.

back to Work;

i got lectured by jie jie.

she gossiped my reason of late

i blurt out the secret of baby's to them

malaysia aunty nv let me explain

i nearly burst out my tears

both look down on baby;

i am disappointed in them.

went back to counter,

emo ~

zhiwei tok to me;

i felt secured in her.

feeling ok,

buttocks felt sour~

my body aches.

very wobbly

quickly went to toilet

hot flushing,

not feeling well.

went to eat;

baby came,

he chat with me.

felt uneasy wann tell him my situation.

i dont want to let him worry

he forced me to say;

i cried.

nobody thinks i am capable.

he loves me;

he thinks i am perfect.

does it realistic?

2009-12-30T20:00:00.002+08:00

looking at my baby's blog these few days, i felt glad that he wanted to make it a habit. Like this, i am able to know what is he thinking.. His blogging is getting better than me worr.. Great job!!

This morning, i received a incomplete msg from baby.
" Ok. Love you dear. J". Then, i try to delete some msg hence baby asked me to do so. Then i asked him to send me again. But he told me that " because u already have me le" My heart sank, thoughts ~

indeed i afraid that i might lose baby, but i tried to keep everything open minded as i could. Jus happened today, he told me that there will be a girl in his class coming down to teach him practical in CC. Immediately my thinking was how come his class had so many guys but he rather chose this girl.

This girl actually is the one who has been helping him out since last year as i knew. But baby told me that this name" Jia Min" is a guy. I trusted him. But today i asked him what is her name? He told me is Jia Min.

I hold back my breathe in order not to argue with him anymore. I dunno how to trust him when he told me things stumbling..

Well, i had already tried my best to let him have the freedom. If he still wan to hide from me, i really dunno how to face him when he told me he is going out w a girl again. My confidence level will decrease to -10 .

I did sushi today, got scolded by my mum as i made a mess in her kitchen. Finally, i am done and waiting for time to pass.

Perhaps i will not the mood to discuss the project instead of worrying about what is baby doing with the girl. Mayb in class he really need this girl to help him with his homework so that he can pass easily.

baby maybe u will feel disappointed when reading this post. but all along my characteristic doesnt change easily. i get jealous easily jus because i am emotional. this is fact that u have to accept for who am i.
i have accepted that u are very sociable so i tried to smile when you are talking with yuan yuan or any ladies.
BUT sometimes i really dun mind, it depends on my mood ba.
I am trying hard to push to +7 at least.

2009-12-22T12:56:00.005+08:00

Celebrations with Gelvin and his family

I love him

Ah gong so funny and cute

Outside Somerset

Gelvin's father and Grandpa

Salmon and Mushroom Pizza
Scallop Baked Rice

Spagetti Vongole

This is our first time, renting a car and baby really can drive me ler~
I am so happy to have him staying at my side.
However, driving is good and convenience. But without GPS, we will lost.
Things wont be so smooth, nevertheless we will overcome it together.

2009-12-09T13:20:00.002+08:00

its been long time never blog, feel so bored.
Just finished my term test, 松了一口气。

I never ever thought that this will happen to us.
This scene will always carve in my mind.

That was baby's second time cry in front of me.
because a group of butches, attacked baby.
He had tolerated till the max.
He just wann to get back it.
Unfortunately his parent were around and due to their buddhist devotees.
The first thing they did was to apologise and this is not baby wish for.

His mum said 'regret' to have such son. Why??
I feel so hurt when baby cried out loud and i couldnt hold him.
He pushed me away.

Luckily i stay beside him and listened to his woes.
I know baby will still consider about his conquences.
Just that moment , no matter is a girl or a boy.
Even me, will oso get aggiated when facing such bullyism.

How can this happen to baby~
Being bullied by a BUTCH.
i hate them.

i dun like his mother to be too HUMBLE.
though i have to respect her but all these words in my mind will only said in my dream.
Not because of 因果, i have to accept that i am being bullied is my fault?
Would i get take advantage by those perverts and it is also heaven will?
Then if that case, this world will not have lawyers or polices to get these people le.
If everyone say, forget about it. Rather be a coward, also dun wan to get back those reputations. Continued to be bulied by these people. 这也算是报应吗？

2009-11-09T20:38:00.007+08:00

...: : : HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME : : ::..

Surprises surprises from baby

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

i knew he will be asking my friends but i never knew he asked my cousin and poly friends come too. I am so shocked to see Zhi Min and her gang, my cousin sister and her hubby. Hahas.. And some very long lost secondary mates. When i reach the room, i saw so many familiar faces, hahas.. but where is my baby??

He is still working and leave them all to ME for hosting. Very bad rite!!

Just after i text him about this matter, awhile more he took a BIG BIG cake inside and ask everyone to sing birthday song. I was stunning~ Dunno wat to do, no expression.

Everything i leave it to him to say. I suddenly dunno wat to say. y Jus wann everyone to b in the photo. Hahas!! after the phototaking, we sang till midnite and everyone were sleepy and tired. Then, Baby asked me to open his GOLDEN BIG present. It is a purple box of perfume.

Nice purple box.

The story ends here..

The next day, my family organised a birthday buffet which invited most of my relatives. The bad news was i was still working hahas.. So i quickly end my work and dash to meet them. Phew~ luckily they all still here waiting for me. I saw the most cutest cousins sitting outside. hahas. Only those adults keep playing Majong. Hergh!!

I am the one wearing cherry. I looked so tiny, together with my cousins. So sad~
This picture took me 5 mins to call them up jus for a snapshot. So Tiring~

Finally, this is my final day and the last day for my 21st birthday. Thanks baby..

2009-11-06T18:22:00.003+08:00

COming closer to my 21st Birthday:::....

This wednesday, Ailing and KC meet me at Raffles. We went to Mind's Cafe and had a great time over there. But there was a group of children very annoying. Keep on shouting 1 uh 1 uh 2 uh 3 uh. Then, ard 6pm we finished our game and follwed KC to The Central. We went to shopping for shoes. After that, Elaine and Janice came. I follwed them, from Basement one to the Clarke quay area where there's alot of pubs and bars. In my mind was, Oh god!! Dont tell me, i have to break my promise again.
Afterwards, Elaine said that the restuarant is in renovation so asked me to choose which style i like. Therefore, we went to Thai restuarant. A few mins later, a mystery man walked past the enterance. Its was My grandson. hahas. Never thought that he will come. Hmms, very surprising la. Thanks to dardar.

After the food, KC never forget to punish the birthday girl. Whom is me!!
I have to eat a packet of preserved mandarin peel. So Sour and Salty.
Oh god, i am full. After that, a cake was served. Sing song and cut cake.

Sabotage time~ they poked the candle right INSIDE the cake and forced me to bite the candle up. HAhas. Its was embarressed infront of so many people. Well i am done and time to eat my cake. So many chocolate, Its was from Swiss Bake. Hahas. I like it.

As i was struggling with the cake, my stomach was bloating. The manager came to me and served me a bowl of dessert. Alamak. I am super bloated!

Ending the dinner, i almost forgot to take ivan gave me the present. Hahas. Wonderful night.

My sweet baby came to mrt and accompanied me home. So tired of him. Love him~

2009-10-24T01:52:00.002+08:00

Happy 6 mths Anniversary!!

Its been long without blogging.

I have been working throughout these two months.

You might think i must have earn alot of money.

But sad to say, Nope..

After spending two hunderd on my teeth and two hundered on entertainment. The rest are my expenses. I am still on debt for the coming school fees. Well, my baby just bought two pair of shoes. He still wan to get another bag after getting a new one from four skin.

He doesnt save, How am i going to rely on him for food expenses. Dont say is " Guys should treat Girls". I still have to pay for myself.

Haiis, thinking of a grand birthday.

Stop dreaming barh... My baby dun hav THAT money to give me such grand party. Not only that, even my presents oso have to delay till next yr.

Lets tok about this anniversary.

How we celebrate?

Well, A chain of his name with crystal and two box of Royce. Two of us waited for our lunch break and finally we ate FISHRIOS. I was sick, but have to eat that fried fried thingy. Hahas, end up sore throat plus heavy flu. Sian.. Nevertheless, i love him for such sweet moments.

he remembered the thiings we shared before.

2009-09-04T14:32:00.000+08:00

all i wan to say is i love my baby a lot.
I nearly lost my Baby just in a nick time.
This is because i knew that i am in the wrong but i still went for a drink.
And i still never tell baby. At tt moment, he wanted to choose career than me. I felt very lost and totally couldnt leave him.
I do not want this to happen again.
baby wanted me to choose, friends or him.
he wanted me to give up all my friends.

does he know, he is letting me unhappy?
does he know, by doing all these i dun feel happy at all.

why must i live for him and not for myself?
Will he know, by giving me happiness is to let me happy?
did he understand me?

2009-08-26T00:53:00.003+08:00

I want to thank Zhi Min , Dardar, Choon Teck, Vincent and especially my Baby!!

They never leave me aside after all. They still helped till the end. Baby always help me to think of many ideas to solve my problems.

Thanks for their help, so i can slp well and without any tears anymore.
I am so touched that baby can give up his time for me.
he loves me...
i couldnt believe that this time i can feel his love with actions. Not just talks anymore.

I prayed hard that this will be over..

2009-08-24T22:16:00.000+08:00

its so frustrated nowadays, rushing my reports finish ler still cannort leave. Now my teammates are dragging me, and doing slow pace with the powerpoint. I started first, den they find my powerpoint slides not good. OK, nvm. after all i keep chasing after this boy who talks more than action.

Baby is still a baby; he still have this childish conversation with me. Haiis, he dunno his road direction still scold me for forgetting. He just wann to make his route simple, and make mine complicated. Hergh! So we meet ler, den i tot he going somewhere, who noes he went back to sengkang. Gosh!! i wasted money to meet him here and accompany him go back. he knows that i dun have bus concession. but~

Then, on the way back home. I wanted to eat maggie mee, which dun need to pay for it. But he told me cannort eat. Okay, nvm.. he brought me to foodcourt. i have already choose wat i wan to eat. Then he dragg me out the food court and say he gt porridge at home. OK. fine..

Reach his home, we eat the porridge den i eat halfway le. he said he want to eat maggie mee. ask me to eat the rest of the porridge. Hey, i say i want to eat , u dun let me eat!! Now u urself eat.
He asked me , wann some more porridge. I said i dun wan. But he still pour the rest of the porridge in my bowl. He assumed that i am not full. So wat for ask me, jus pour lar!!

Ok fine, den he ask me wan drink the herbal tea. Wan big or small? i wann small. He pour the full cup of tt small cup. i dun like to drink it but he have already pour. i suddenly feel that how come he dun understand me. hmms, he knew something wrong there but he jus wont say a sorry and admit his fault. He always use scissor paper stone to set who is the right one. This is a irresponsible act. Its will not be fair to me.

I know he is clever and capability in working. But he still compared with me, say all about my weakness without knowing hurting my feelings. I keep giving myself to be confidence but i am always hurt by his words. And its makes my confidence level falls to zero.

Does he really love me, can he love me by protecting me from hurting me?
Can he

Dont be so full of yourself!

2009-08-19T22:13:00.000+08:00

Everyone lives in a realistic life, they thinks of themselves before others. Even is a stranger, still a human. Who knows He/She may b ur friend or colleagues one day.
There is a office lady standing beside me, on the bus. I hold onto the rail and my two little fingers holding on my balance. But this office lady is so ridiculous, she leaned on the rail which my two fingers are. Her fatty arms was so heavy and i felt so pain. I waited for her to realise but 10 mins later she still smsing. I shake shake.. hope she knows. Haiis, she finally got off. Red red fingers poor thing..

I have so many days nv see Baby, today finally waited for this day. Love Baby!!

2009-08-08T23:43:00.000+08:00

On friday evening, i took Napfa test. I failed three stations- Inclined pull up, shuttle run and sit & reach. I was so disappointed. Baby called me and tell me something. but i couldnt hear what he is trying to say. I tried my best. But baby had pissed off. I am so sad!!
Being demoralised.. Dun have any mood to run for my 2.4km..

But I tell myself i had trained myself jus for this day. I cant be depressed. So i started my run and finally i get into 50s. Therefore i waited for the results . its was 14.22 mins, its so surprising that i can get this timing.

hmms, i meet baby at white sands, i cant reached him.. den i saw him at last.
During the cousin's party, i tried to befriend with my cousins.. Of cos i cant neglect my baby. He sweats so much.. Haiis, i am damm sour when baby helped onto my sister. She was drunk, and her bag was with baby not mine. I am not the first person he rmb. he will still care about the person who needs his help first.

Today, i intended to wait for baby, but he told me that he will be late.. Yarh Now is already midnite & he still nv call me a single call. I am anxious.. DOnt dare to think so much.. Jus afraid that i will lose heart on him. This kind of insecure, i have before and i really had a bad dream on it. Please dont go away..

2009-07-28T15:20:00.002+08:00

Jus bought a specs for boy, it costs me 400 plus.. haiis, not feeling pain but the following days becomes my tragic. I spent 100 plus over my clothes & shoes, recently my dad asked from me 2k. I jus cant imagine, he wan to take my school fee money to turnover. Hergh!! 500 gone.
Actually can go JB shopping de, end up have to wait until my birthday. So sians, I still have to work more harder jus for my braces installments. Well, i jus cant finish my debts. I shouldnt go for luxury before i start to work outside.

Everything is in the fate, follow steps by steps. Jumping will only cause bankrupt.
Haiis, Baby & I WILL WOrk Hard!!

On the 27 July 2009, this is the first time baby went for practical driving test, and he passed!!
CONGRATS!!
he used his bro car's to drive me home.
Yippee!!
Thanks, he made it!!

2009-07-13T10:11:00.003+08:00

ytd wake baby up..

i wann to drag him,

but he is too heavy..

that huge muscle legs crawl above..

looks like a giant baby~

so cute..

finally he went in the toilet..

in the meantime i make milo for him,

help him to prepare working tee,

extra shirt,

put inside his bag.

help him put on shirt,

spray deodorant.

after he drank the milo,

i washed.

kisses..

get ready his shoes,

lets ready for work.

i went to lucky plaza with my auntie,

have a clam ramen for 3 bucks..

cheap!

it was 5 plus,

baby doesnt wan to let me noe where is he.

iamangry..

i didnt reply him till i going to end work.

its 6 plus..

ready to pack up.

then i saw baby behind me.

he look sleepy.

we went to takashimaya food fest.

have our dinner at yoshinoya,

baby gets wet.

i was left alone.

he came back.

we went to,

have a double connoisseur icecream from UDDERS.

its melts with sweet and bitter acohol taste.

next stop at cineleisure,

worlds of sports..

trying on running shoes,

size 6, size 6.5.

look nice but no size..

ended up..

its junior sports shoes.

size 5.5 fits me.

baby pay for it..

* thanks baby, i promise when i get my money money,

i will get you a transistion specs..

yours look old.

2009-07-12T00:55:00.003+08:00

waiting for baby...

in these 2 hours time,

signboard drops,

children crying for food...

looking at..

eyes,

mouth,

hair,

chest,

leg,

shoes,

bags...

bright colours of circle donut,

papaya juice no one came to collect...

restroom closed for washing.

LongChamp

SemiBonia

Braun Baffel

Fion

many many kinds of bags appear in my miind..

thinking which one is the right one..

suddenly this image reminds me;

a sport shoes.

* pinning for the day to take photo..

2009-06-29T09:51:00.002+08:00

These few days, i received my boy's surprises.. i am so touched.
Yesterday, i worked at taka till 8pm. while he worked at paragon till 6pm.
I tot that he really went home when i sms him.
But i wished that he will find me..
Haiis, time pass so slow!!
Its still 7 plus, i waited until 7.48pm and i packed my bag. I gave him a call, he sounded weird.
I asked him where he is, he thought for a min den reply me. i wanted to find him and treat him starbuck. Hahas, he said he will come back find me within 5 mins. Asked me to wait at a side first. But when i was about to sit at the side, out of a sudden someone grabbed me up and turn a round. I was so shocked!!
Ohh he waited for me... for 2 hours. He said that he looked for the bag that i wanted to buy,"LongChamp". He couldnt find it. I dont believe, so i went back to search for it. Argh!! there a small corner.. Boy stunted and gave me excuses that it was so small, while he tot that it was a boutique. HAHAs.. cost of 244 bucks.. better dun let boy to spend so much..
I think a m)pohis bag will do.

Well, i felt so happiness right now..

Nevertheless, since we were together in my mind i still afraid that that girl will come back to find Boy, but i tell myself that Boy loves me no matter how.
Somehow, my dream always pinning for a boyfriend who will buy a ring for me. And i will protect it till the end. Boy does not want to buy it unneccessary as he wanted to have the capability to afford a good one. I am looking forward to it~ <3

I believe One fine day, my hubby will buy for me derh!!

save more money to live in a better life~
aiming for holiday moon with Bb..

2009-06-25T10:22:00.003+08:00

its finally our second month anniversary,
I do not know whether does he knew this..
I waited till afternoon and said to him.
Hmms.. nothing expect from him..
During my workshop, i received a sms from him.
He wanted to meet me at pasir ris, ehh?? why he suddenly go there for wat?
I was doing my role play, while he calling me. opps, i totally dunno how to solve this.
hmms.. den Bb asked me to meet him at downtown by 6.20pm.. I knew i cant make it lerr as the volunteer keep on talking.. I left my sisters and quickly take bus.
I reached the inter and saw Bb waiting for me at the dropping point. opps, he was angry.. I keep saying sorry to him.
Immediately, he dragged me to the downtown and went in to E hub. Without notice, he asked me to pay for our dinner later. Ooh, okay den i didnt realised that he paid for the popcorn and drink. he hold me to the cinema and took out a ticket. Argh, i am in the cinema ler.. ITS TRANSFORMER 2!!

hahas, i was so touched and he is first time so sweet and i did not realised his motive at all.
Oh My God!! i felt his secured and warm heart throughout the day. He make this a special day for me. I love him..

Its his birthday on 21 june. After my work at 5pm, i quickly changed my clothes and make up. I took mrt and find him at city hall mrt, ooh he was so handsome, hair stand up collar oso stand up.. On the way, Bb took me to Myopsis, he asked me to choose a bag tha ti likes. Uhh he prepared to pay what i took. But too bad, i did not fancy any.Hahahs, we went to New York New York and eat dinner. We asked for pizza and pasta.. EEks~ i only like the pasta. hahas, Bb still so sweet.. feed me feed me.
hahas, den we asked for root beer float and mud pie. Not much later, a manager came to us and asked us whether any one of us's birthday this month. Then he had counted out the discounted rate. So , i paid....
Off we went to shopp and walked past bridal salon , the boss over there stopped us and asked us to take a look.. I told them we are still young. Some boss said to Bb, better dun change girlfriend uh!! HAHAS.. So funny day!!

Den we went to Dhoby Ghaut, shop awhile.. we went to watch movie" Night of Museum 2" den we went home..

2009-06-05T22:20:00.003+08:00

*~More Upcoming Pictures From Boys over Flower~*

Kim Hyun Joong

Lively Smile!!

惜惜~ Fragile Heart

KIM BUM

Sweet Boy
Dream Man of My Life

Cute & Secure Man I need

* To my Boyboy: I am still loving you, no matter what you had become. Dont worry i wont make you change for me in anyways, I would hope that you love me more and dote me dearly. As long as your heart stays with me, the connection between us would never fade. No matter where you are, i will always sense your thoughts.

2009-06-04T23:00:00.010+08:00

*~Korean Boys over the Flower~ *

Kim Beom 金范

he is so cute!!

美男子 I love his smile, look at his cute face!!

SO CUTE!!

After watching the korean drama, i had fallen in sight with this cute handsome boy.Guess what; he is one year younger than me.
He is born in 1989.
haiis, too bad..

Somehow i like the main actress, Goo Hye Sun 贝惠善
This picture is the best!!
Can you do this?

She is 4 years older than me, you know!!

She is born in 1984.

OMG!! Does she look alike as me?

Hahas..

This is the sexy look of a Korean model. I want to change the hairstyle as her.
Do you think i am suitable?

SS501 leader- Kim Hyun Joong ，金贤重

This picture look happiness~ 辛福

He look so emo, but HANDSOME!!

His smile also very sexy~

He look very 清秀 and i envy his teeth. So straight and white.

Look at his hair, so pretty. I like the style by the side, which you can see the ear stud.
His frige is also nice, it doesnt have parting. I guess it do not need any much of styling.
My young sister wan to cut this.

Hahas. If my Bb oso cut like tt, i will faint!!

This video is about Kim Hyun Joong, Kim Beom and Kim Joon Advertisement.
Korean Singer is so handsome, the way they smile and dance looks professional.

He sing so romantic!! Hahas.. shy shy~

2009-06-01T22:50:00.002+08:00

Will i meet a soulmate like korean F4; 智厚 who always appear whenever 丝草 is hurt.
whenever she met with obstacles, he will jus happen to be there for her. The moment he saw her, he went up to her and give her that warm hug.
Whenever she get into trouble, he will help her no matter is right or wrong.
The matter is he do not throw his temper at her, he waits quietly and sit beside her to let her know that she is not alone.
Which i need most from him.

This is all concidence, because of drama illusion.
Who will be so free, keep staying at his love ones' side?
We are in the reality.

I wish that my guardian angel can be so free, but the fact is he is alwys so busy.
I need him to console me, i need him to give me warm.
But my situation is not timed.
He dont have time to be my guardian angel.
He will only sms/call me when he is free.

He want me to be independent.

2009-06-01T21:31:00.002+08:00

Unlucky day keep going..
This afternoon i went to business school to have a fish and chip. To my disappointment, my braces came out. The wire went out of the braces, its so pain and the wire keep on scratching my mouth. I felt very terrible, so dry and horrible pain. I told him but he doesnt reply me at all.

I quickly book an appointment, luckily there is a slot to let me squeeze in. After 5 hours, i immediately went in. Despite of going in fast, i waited for 1 hour. HE replied me finally. I thought he is coming soon but he didnt. Even he came, jus talk to me for awhile and left home. I was alone facing this pain. After the operation, i thought he will look for me. But i called him and he was still at home. He doesnt want to meet me at all.

I felt insecured, i need him now but he wasnt here beside me. In despite of thinking so much, i tell myself. My guardian angel need to rest too, i have to face some problem independently. So i decided to stand out and bear the lonely pain. I let my guardian angle a off day.

HE said he love me, but he doesnt show it to me.
I am still learning not to rely on him.

2009-05-31T22:24:00.002+08:00

Its my unlucky day,

During work, i helped my colleagues to close deal. But my own brand do not have any sales.
My colleagues told me dont help them, cos they wont repay you back.

As i reached home, i wann to watch my show. Ended up no sound came out. I dun understand where went wrong. Ytd still alright. Haiis, den i downloaded halfway thru, my sis tripped over my power swtich and there goes my show. Black out!!

My anti virus wasnt working as well.

I am so flared up..
I am so flared up..

Why cant i have a thing tt last long with me?

2009-05-28T20:40:00.002+08:00

Stress out!
i dunno why am i so tired these few days.
My eyes were worn out, mayb due to long hours of staring at the computer.
Not enough rest, is it an excuse?

Haiis, our company was about to ready for business..
Looking forward to this day is a torture to me.
I dunno can i b able to deliver best service for these students.

I dont mean to ask those foolish questions to make you disappointed in me.
I do not have confidence to face this, i am afraid that one day u may leave me again.
I do not dare to admit that i am your gf.
I cant believe that you will say; you love me.

Perhaps i can ignore peoples' opinion in us, but are you able to face the reality of relationship?Saying that i have to get rid of my jealousy, and trust you 100% . Can we have the sweet honeymoon forever instead of comparing in business life.

2009-05-16T23:25:00.002+08:00

many weeks had passed, finally i have time to blog here.

Besides having attachment in school from 9am-5.30pm, my group came up with different events to relieve our stress. We went badminton, play restuarant city, play maifa wars and excerise every morning. Hahas.. Its fun, that we eventually took down videos and share. Lots of laughters in the lab. No slience unless we are sleepy.

Since vesak day, i had not seen boyboy for a week. We maintain very good communication thru sms and phone. He loves me alwys still.. however, things just doesnt goes well in me.
I tot i had given him enuff freedom and trust in him.
But today his father lectured me. He told me off, asked me not to be too sensitive and dont keep chit chat till very late. These were all in the past.

I had not been calling him so late since last month. Its not me bothering his sleep. I myself oso very tired, i normally went to bed at 11pm. Its him interrupt my sleep in fact. Haiis, i missed him alot. I wanted to meet him jus to chat more and see him. But why?

His parent does not like me at all. Or their approach were wrong towards me.

i know i am low confidence in real life, i dunno how much good i done. But please dont judge me from the past. I need encouragements, not lectures.. I need praises to let me feel tt i am getting better, not criticise...

2009-05-01T20:35:00.002+08:00

Attachments

Spending hours cooping in the corner of that classroom doing our researchings.
With Low speed rate of internet, couldnt reach teacher phone.
Awaiting for every wednesday, what can i do?

Boy boy spent 3 hrs to lecture me; teach me how to be a leader.
He dont like me.
He dont like my attitude towards methods of dealing with my schoolmates.
He dotes me.
He afraid that i am easily bullied by people.
I had listen to his advice, planned some ideas prepare for the next weeks.

Am i really look old?
I am just in my own world.
I hope i am helping him and not putting him into harm.
JIA YOU!!

2009-04-16T01:24:00.003+08:00

StarLight Concert of 容祖儿

( 18th April 2009 ; 7.30pm)

A pair of Concert Ticket at Max Pivillon Singapore Expo
Seating no. Row 3 No 1 and 2. (Cat 6) , Usual Price at $68 per ticket.
Selling at $50.

Who want it!! Hurray....

This saturday i cant make it for this concert so giving out at $50 ONLY for two tickets. Please help me.. Thanks. Dont waste the tickets.

2009-04-15T01:34:00.002+08:00

This time is real; he confess to me.
I am not daydreaming or deaf.
He said that : I am his girlfriend.
He will only hold his gf's hand.
Overjoyed!!

I know myself that i wont be able to control my emotions well.
Hence, i still have to be very open minded to accept his conditions.
Befriend with gals is one of my taboos.
Haiis, this test my endurance. Arghs!!

Today i almost flared over his phonebook again.. Luckily, i get over very fast by giggling away.
Haiis, i cant angry with him. i have to listen his words. Then he will rmb my words.
I helped him to wash face and feet. Though its an awakard things to do.
But i enjoy very much.
I helping him to be more handsome. In future how is like, if is mine it will be mine.
Who noes??
Lets maintain as this, and treasure every moment.

2009-04-09T18:06:00.002+08:00

Staying at home today, not intend to go bubble tea shop with him.
As he kept find me faults, once wrong determind that i am always wrong.
I dun understand why must heaven making fun of me.
Its too Concidence, i am always the one dragging him down.
Always let him get scolded by someone becos of me.

When will be his time to be faults?

He acknowledge me as his future wife infront of somebody. But i know this is a joke.
However, to me i hope he is really mean it.
Though he said b4 that he wanted to get married when he reach 35.
Will i able to wait for this day?
Will i have this policy to have this chance?

Keep on waiting is a miserable thing.
Thinking of future.....
Worth it?

2009-04-05T20:41:00.002+08:00

After extracted my four tooth.. adding four metal pieces in my mouth.. i felt so irritating pain.
I cant imagine i have the courage to face it myself.
Haiis, i really hope at the end of the day i never wasted.
At that moment when my last tooth being taken out, i thought of him staying beside me.
Went home realised no one at home.
I cooked porridge myself, it wasnt well done.
Haiis, preparing for tml event with boy.
He will stay with me.
I am not scared.

2009-04-01T02:39:00.002+08:00

All the conflicts begins with jealousy;
tolerance and patience are standing by always in my heart.
Spicy Jealousy is arising as the picture gets closer.
MR Trust doesnt really want to stand up and set up his mind.
Neglect Ms Jealousy and there's where she begans the fight.
She couldnt really takes it and left hurrily.
This time She jus wann ask MR Trust:

我到底是你的谁?

* Does she has the right to stop him?
Does she able to persuade him to listen her words?
Does she have the rights to have a say?
Does she really have to be obey and nothing will happen?
How about her future and her worth?
Does she is worth it to be a good partner staying with him all day?

2009-03-24T00:31:00.002+08:00

thinking of helping out; never thought tt it turns out to be an burden.
Nobody believes me or trust me tt i really can help.
Makes me feel that i am extra over there.

he dun wan me to be too tired den why still ask me to go along?
haiis, i jus wan to help, never tot tt it becomes find me troublesome.

Should i continue help him or shld i leave?

His mother thinks tt, after i stick to him, he becomes worse.
I tot i had done my best ler..
I dun understand why she thinks like tt.

Should i avoid him or let it be?

2009-03-21T00:23:00.003+08:00

this week, i have been to gelvin's brother bubble tea shop for free labour.
Went there to learn how to make drinks.
Help to wash and tidy the shop.
Nevertheless, there bout to have story behind it.
A teenage was ard 18 years old had a crush on someone.
She did not noe whether shld she continue to contact this guy who no longer coming.
But surprisingly today he came.
However, she wasnt happy with the results as he had patched back with his ex.
Due to this loneliness and lack of happiness,
based on the relationship of me and gelvin, which had led her felt agony in jealousy.
So she vent all her anger on me.
She pulled my dress down and seen my bra publicly.
luckily i facing inside.
I found out tt she treated gelvin as her crush.
So she touched gelvin.
As if eaten by her...
Gelvin need my protection. HAHAS!!

2009-03-10T23:29:00.002+08:00

Celebrate PT birthday on 6 march,
Fun but many RED ants and mosquitoes.
my feet got red red and pain pain

Going to TCC T3D gathering at Chong Pang.
Boy boy so sweet, peel crab for me.
but end up rashes..
haiis, but i had to go for grandma birthday
After tt, i quickly went to meet boyboy at cityhall.
Hoo~ finally saw him and we celebrate NISA birthday.

he is sweet to share cake cake with me.

Today he shouted at me; becos of a newspaper.
But we get back again after confronting.
He alwys wan me to listen to him.

But i felt being forced; for the sake of him, i had to get along his mother's characters.
I wan to be myself but not for his mother.

i cant deny tt he dote me alot, but he oso can treat me badly to suit his world.
Does a man will let his lovely girl suffer and cry marh?
Shouldnt a man must protect his lovely girl from any obstacles?

2009-03-03T23:09:00.002+08:00

meeting boy at CP after calling him for many times to wake him up. HAHAS..
den we went to look for nisa present, due to many ppl couldnt confirm whether are they staying back for the party. So we almost quarelled abt the size of the cake. the pattern of the cake. haiis, being a organiser never planned proberly.
Buying a bag for my sis, becos the colour wasnt the one she like so we went around hougang and kovan. Haiis, i noe my face dull dull again. HE also feel frustrated.
Well, we bought a bag liao, he went to meet his parents.

Thinking of his parents, these few days i had been going out with his grandpa, grandma, father , mother and grandmother. EAT ,EAT, EAT.
I am gaining weight ler!!
Waiting for a day to come..

2009-02-25T16:46:00.003+08:00

After exam had finished, i been sticking with him.
Finally i have time to help him do something.
But he still dont want to let me do alone.
Haiis, now got two things to settle.

Hehes, enjoying my free time~

my three promises to him;
make me feel like litte small girl..
let him be my guardian.

2009-02-18T08:44:00.003+08:00

no matter how's our future is like...

I promise you, i will not mention anything regards our relationship.

till the day you decided to settle down.

my logic of happiness is
"I love the person so much and the person loves me very much"

if one day i really do in impulsive, i do not hope that you will stop me without any reason.
i jus wish that you will ask me stay behind and turn back to you.
dont mind u believe or not, i will get myself marry before 30 yrs old.
Hope you will understand my feelings till now.

2009-02-16T20:26:00.003+08:00

Past generations make sins, let this generations to pay back. What kind of logic is this?
Alot of problem arising in my mother's side relatives. How shameless they are, imagine they are people who have stable income. They are all grown up, and still they come to us ( schooling kids) to borrow tons of money. Haiis, my mother still wann to use our money to borrow and not lecture them. She does not protect us from rainy days rather than lending them money to pay credit company or loansharks. Haiis, what had happen to this world?

i will not let my own family involve with all these kind of stressful.
Let's stay cheerful facing our new future.

S.M.I.L.E

2009-02-15T02:32:00.002+08:00

its an unexpected situation happen on friday, i accidently hinted to him abt my wish.
I do not know what's in his mind thinking of...
He eventually thinking of last min asking me out.
Haiis, see thats the consequence of high ego. Thinking tt i will make myself free on tt particular day jus for him. Hello.. Now i dun wish to do that anymore.. My face is thinner and thinner.. No more thickness..

Overall, i could say he had tried his best to do all his work. Jus tt he cant change his habits of praising other gals in front of me cos he took me for granted liao. YA , normally i may dun mind. But today is V day, the main character shld b me and not them. Right?
Haiis, i am so selfish..

Wondering if i really grad and went to work out there.. Will he really jus let go me without holding me back?
I wann to hear from him asking me to stay.

I only have two choices:
first is to stay till the end with him and hope he will propose to me.
Second is waiting no end ended up miserably went up to any guy who dotes me more and get settle down.

So what kind of situation do you think i will be happiness?
How will i be happy?

2009-02-12T21:10:00.002+08:00

我真的好羡慕，好羡慕，好羡慕她们。

Looking at girlfriends' blogs, reading their experience in life with their boyfriends.
I felt full of jealous and envy.
They have plans for coming valentine day.
Though its every once a year, they are looking forward.
Some people may want to confess their feelings,
some may want to take this chance to spend with their loved ones.
Some may busy working or studying had already forgotten.
Singles are not lonely if they have girlfriends to spend with.

I do, however i wish to hear from him asking me out.
I dun wish to be the one proposing him the qns.
Can i have this chance to hear from you?

2009-02-11T18:40:00.002+08:00

everyone was wondering; why this person is able to hold me for 4 years without failure.
Let me tell you,
Actually this person has his own characteristics which nobody have.
He do not show his true feelings to anyone else, included me. But i can feel it. However, i wish he could show out.

He has his own motivation of getting into a situation and nobody will able to persuade him included me. How i wish that i can be the one.

He treats everyone equally, either his parents or friends. But he knows who are the people importance in his heart. Am i one of it?

He has a weird temper, stubbornly deny what he has done is common to him. He has his own opinion which will let you believe that he is right.

He wanted to show me how hard he had been trying to b a "good man".
Why he has alot of girl friends and boy friends , reason is to be sociable and expand his network.

He is devoted to whom treated him nicely alwys. He wanted to protect me from harm that comes from the wonderland. He wanted to concern my situation and tried very hard to b there for me. But fate doesnt let him to do so.

He wanted to hold me tight so that i wont complain of coldness and insecurity. But he doesnt know when should he do so.

He wanted to let me feel happy everyday that he keep trying to dote me and play fun with me whenever i am in anger. But somehow different status tells a thing, which i will nv able to feel happy.

LASTLY, he wanted to get me many many good foods and things. But we are not rich. The most is to spend for each other. I wanted to share my weas and woes with him, wanted to have the same pair as him and wanted to capture every moment of us spending for each other.

But we have different points of view, different taste of senses and different characteristics.
However, we give in for each other whenever whom is in bad mood. But somehow this doesnt reflect on this person at all. The same mistakes had been repeated many many times.

I understand why till now i am still staying beside him because we shared.
I understand why he couldnt let go this kind of relationship because we went thru alot of obstacles and rely on each other too much.
I jus dont understand why i cant have a real time of true relationship tt is accepted by everyone.

2009-02-06T23:08:00.002+08:00

i am so busy till i almost forget today going to pai nian.
Alot of projects and quizes coming at a time, out of a sudden i felt startled.
my shoes spolit; need to sew back. it cost me bucks, i dun wish to buy another one.

a special day is coming;
i dont wan to b the one making the first move.

anyway, i will be working next sat. no surprise means no chance anymore.

2009-02-03T21:08:00.002+08:00

its abt end of chinese new year,
let's recap what i have done for these few days.

First day- Temple prayer at Sengakng , A visit to Ah Ma hse; eat lunch den Visit to Da Jiu hse; Visit to gelvin hse play blackjack.

Second day- A visit to Da Bo hse pray Ah Gong, visit to Gu Ma hse den visit to Ah Kim hse; bring all cousins to cinema."The Wedding game". Conclusion; Dont bring kids along!! So troublesome than old folks.

Sch Open first day, submission of projects. busy rushing to finish it by thurs.
Finally, MIO website design had done and presented.
Next is Modsim project. Coming up is my fashion assignment.
Haiis, having problems with the ARENA..

Gambling during CNY is a relaxation. Win or Lose is depends on ur luck. Cant blame whom, either how big the bet is when you are the banker. That's why i lose at first, den win back the next day. hahas.. Excitement is always becos of your friends.

Facing with uncertain situation like, suspicious with this guy( what is he doing out there). His responsibility between family and me, respecting my family. Coming up special occasions. I jus feel that it is jus wasting my saliva to remind and remind him or forced him to go out wif me. Haiis, i jus cant be bothered.

Nevertheless, in my thoughts. He is still concern abt my feelings, he knows what i am thinking. However, he doesnt want to let me know. The way of his caring, doesnt touched my heart. rather than, his aggressiveness keep on hurting me. Between reality and dreams, i have alot of mindsets. Decide when to follow which at which time. But he doesnt want. He asked me to face the real reality of these world. Why Human have to be so tensed up in this world?

2009-01-29T00:33:00.003+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year, it was very tight on our schedule to pack all our things. In the morning, everyone was anxious abt what we are wearing. den i am stucked in my room making up. hahas, eyeliner wasnt a good one.

Zhimin and me

This is my group members.. ME; Mr Koh; Jiying ; Vincent; Zhimin; Liyana

we were over tensed in the meeting. Thanks to them!!

Auditting had come to the end, it was a great experience to be a auditor.

Well, I was commented to be a good one. Same to Zhimin, we love to probe questions.

HAHAS.. it was hard on these ladies, however, they had two thick files for us to check.

God man..

2009-01-15T23:35:00.004+08:00

Final Procoi had submitted!!
Preparing MSA report for auditing...
CNY coming ler~
I have done my manicure and Pedicure
but will it able to last till tt day??
Hahas..
Today, boy gave me a shock.
he wanted to buy me a wallet.
AND guess what, Buffalo brand wor..
Hmms, we got it each.
i dont understand what his mind thinking about.
but i can sense that he want to commit his responsibility to me sooner..
the way he treat me is different.
it can be very bad, nor it will be very good.
perhaps he is moving on the track, i am very glad.
jus hoping that he dont be so high ego to me or towards family.

2009-01-14T20:58:00.002+08:00

Projects Projects... please GO away!!
today CHIONG procoi but still haven finish everything.
Tml is LAST DAY ler...
Got interview somemore..
Haiis, sians uh!!
Modsim lab test oso tml.. no open book. DIE LIAO UH!!
Left MSA project to be handed up before CNY.
Internal Auditing next week.. FORMAL WEAR!!
MIO presentation of website and Modsim assignment at week 17.
MLS lab test dun need use computer.
Dots, after CNY still got quiz.

2009-01-11T12:04:00.002+08:00

CNY Shopping ~
weewee.. i almost get my stuffs thru this new year sale.
However, i did spend alot. over 300 bucks.
What i have bought;
*Punkstar top
* OMOSE vest
* Pierre Cardin Bras & Panties
* Gargia Hogar Bed Linen
* Venis Blazer
* G2000 Blouses
* G2000 Pants
* Sashay Black Shoes
* Cotton On Shirt
* Messy Bermuda

is that alot??
Not yet included, classic manicure and pedicure and belt.
hiyo!! all are my DEBTS Debts debts..
I need to work the whole month to save up and return back.
hmms, i will pray that my CNY angbaos got alot of money.

2009-01-10T00:00:00.002+08:00

i have bought my black shoes, all thanks to him.
He's sick and still "willing" to accompany me to choose shoes.
hmms, well i had not enuff sleep hence i tend to feel flared up easily and stubbornly.
So i felt irritated when he provoke me.
I wanted to pick a pants for him.
Hope he will like it.
But he wasnt willing to try on.
he rejected almost everything.
i felt so heartstabbed.
esp beside me , there is a woman buying for someone; was very confident.
i cried when he showed me the frustrated look.
he said that i FORCED him.
well, so i still cant understand his taste of clothes.
Haiis..
boy uh, will you grant my new year resolutions come true this year?

2009-01-07T03:08:00.002+08:00

started working for three days in Taka;
its a very nice job.
however, i dont have a comfort shoes that let me last longer.
hahas...
my feet was suffering since last week.
so painful.
my new year resolution uh!!
A black sport shoes and a blazer with "pockets".
i realised that alot of coats do not have pockets but a "fake" one instead,
haiis, many things to do this year.
my brain is getting old.
somehow will forget things whats happen before.
well. i should rest more instead of playing com.
hahs, i jus couldnt sleep well..
complaining my bed wasnt good, my pillow wasnt soft enuff.
haiis someone outside had more difficulties than me.
boy uh!! i know what dress code you wann wear during CNY.
i want to get it for you but i tried my best to match the budgeted price of suit ler.
Hope you will accept my gift..

2009-01-02T23:33:00.003+08:00

its a sadly case;
after the project meeting,
i took my time to reach plaza sg as told.
but someone said not to meet there anymore ler.
Change destination to vivo
OK, i keep my anger to myself.
as i going to reach..
he called me and hurry me.
halfway thru, he gets flared up and hang up.
I reached ler, den i couldnt saw him anywhere.
I waited for 30mins, who noes he called me and claimed tt he was in control station all the while.
Haiis, both of us were in the high pressure mood.
We seldom talked.
until i start to shopps.
he gets tired and sleepy.
ok..
we are back to normal.

well, we went back home.
impossible dreams nv come true;
faded in my mind.
i wonder and wonder..
who will be his wife?
who will has the rights in decisons?

His mum or Himself??

2009-01-01T18:35:00.002+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

a brand new year comes;

new year resolutions made,

we exchange our wishes upon the countdown.

hoping to grant each other wishes.

does he able to ?

no matter what he done his best.

i made my best to smile~

we spend over his house with his family,

it is the most simple and ever.

having a dinner and shopping night market.

He hold my hand and his mum's hand,
we walked together.

Feeling happiness..

however its just a for once.

he might thinks that he is lord.
mighty and powerful,
able to protect us from harm.
nevertheless, he afraid to be alone.

will he admit his weakeness?

i watching him grow.

i still staying by his side.

i will jus wait.

leaving is only a matter of time.

2008-12-29T23:13:00.002+08:00

TERM BREAK HAD END!!

hmms, early morning raining heavily, i went to sch to print that stacks of documents and waited for 30 mins. Ended up our tutor said to be mended again by our own documents not copyright.
Gosh, he shld say earlier.
Going home at noon, prepared myself to work.
Feeling nervous and excited, how's will the day likes?
As i went in, i spend 5 mins to search for that small brand.
And no one attend to it, AH!! finally i asked the correct auntie.
she was new too. she doesnt noe what to do oso.
But the stock had made.
My feet was pain, pain, pain.
i feel like siting... the day seems so long.
As the nightfalls, it turns cold.
OH!! i am freezing..
hahas.. whole body aches.
I am not used to it standing at a place. esp jus that two columns
Staring at the list. i asked some auntie what are the names.
I need to noe more about the bed linen is about.
OKOK..
finally its my turn to go home..
my stomach was starving.
No photos taken cos i wore my sis blouse which is very loose.
My black pants too long.
Haiis, nt nice. i shld get something look smart!!

2008-12-27T21:24:00.003+08:00

Marvelous Cream

Guys and Gals will never thought that ; i was defeated again.

His sweet tongue slips thru my mind.

I couldnt understand why he cant get over her since she had given up on him.

He is the one holding us; afraid that we will get hurt.

Haiis, Forget it. Talking to him is like facing " a mirror"

He will shoot back me and became my fault.

Ok fine, i will just do my things and not bother his "freedom".

Nevertheless, i still hope to spend my time with him and share everything with him.

Is a Worth or Useless ?

Let it be.

We treasure NOWS

snaps our memories in my album.

2008-12-24T21:11:00.002+08:00

Having great fun with my poly friends at Orchard thru Suntec City.
We exchanges gifts, and took alot of photos.
Had Gelare special offer half priced for waffles and Waruku Pasta for dinner.
So yummy!!

Reach T3 ard 12am, having christmas party at 1am. Meeting up with ex colleagues and current colleaggues, hmms wat a great event they organise for us. Managers had put down their strictness and chefs put down their hats. Everyone was in the game.

Happy birthday to Fizah..
We took alot of photos and i am one of the MS Xmas participater.
Gosh i matched with Michael.
Its okay, we enjoyed.

* i am pretty surprised and glad tt there is someone waiting for me to reach home den sleep.
I will remember by heart, he is always here for me. In case, i am drunk.
hahas, his worryness let me feel secured. However, this is not the happiness i want.
Let it be fated.

2008-12-18T19:23:00.002+08:00

i had chosen to be evil witch; i have no choice.
He doesnt realised what he has been doing.
it's unacceptable.
I cant take it anymore.
i cant tolerate again.
this have been so long and repeated so many times.
will i still choose to remain quiet let it him be.
NO WAY!!
i know him inside out,
he do so..
he noes that i will forgive him and love him more.
but he still hurting me..
i screamm at him..
i wish to cry and kill myself.
how could it be my fate?
people who makes friends with him; he....
friends are good to play but bad to loyal.
he wont have anymore trustful friend.
cos i left.
and i will lose him forever...
i dun wan to see him again.

2008-12-17T20:43:00.003+08:00

something happened.
no turning point for me,
it's been done and this leaves a mark in my background.
he choose not to trust in me.
do i have my own privacy either?
his opinion only he agrees; only he's right.

that's the end for me.
my trust in him dun deserved.

i am not feeling ~~good~~, i shut my mouth to prevent disaster.
dont tok to me...

2008-12-16T17:12:00.002+08:00

Certificate of Up Your Service- for two miserable days..
I love drawings still.
hahas..

looking for him so hard,
it's coming soon.. our 1yr illusion anniversary.
will he date me out?
Not for errand or any purpose.
Jus outing to have fun?
Well pretty hard to do so.
He is not that minded.
I wan swimming still..
with him?

2008-12-15T19:17:00.002+08:00

是我想太多了吗？

i felt lonely, he still rmb that he said to quit.
But he havent called to interview.
haiis, i am tired.
We are jus business partners.
he treats me jus a tool to help him on career. That's all.
His mind no longer have my " image".
but "MONEY", his minds are full of ideas.
I dunno what to do.
leave it to him barh...

2008-12-15T00:16:00.002+08:00

it's sunday already, nothing was done.
no suppliers are willing to,
no ideas of what we can do.
doing my MYSA project, while searching for puffy skirt.
Hmms, should i buy or not?
Have to work part time?
haiis, till 6pm.
went to hougang for dinner with sis.
Gelare` pasta and waffle and brownie- total 32 bucks.
Very full. Herghs~
went to NTUC bought necessarities for home.
Actually for us - sisters'gathering.
tibits, icecream and drinks.
Hahahas.. waiting for the show.

2008-12-13T20:56:00.002+08:00

i overslept ler!!
Never tot he doesnt go GYM again.
haiis, den went to his hse have veggie porridge.
he tok bad abt me to his mum.
keep pointing at me, i didnt.
i felt pissed. hate him.
i dun like him to do this.
if he doesnt like me to get well along with his mum, den dont mention abt me anymore.
then, he says all his logics again... MONEY MONEY MONEY!
he treats me like a dog.
my head aches.. i dun wish to tok back him anyway i am the one tolerating.
the more he want to show how right he is, the more i felt upset.
he doesnt thinks that i may be right.
haiis, went to look for wholesaler.. he trust my taste for fashion.
he begins quiet, till the time he wanted to start the first step.
i tried on a suit, A Set cost $70 plus. he asked me to buy.
Wa Lao..
keep pinch my cheek, so oily.
dunno why he still in his dreamland..
haiis, after eating that dinner. my stomache felt so cramped.
he going to meet his parent later on, so i will be alone soon.
so upset, he still bully me.. never dote me as b4.
his warmth turns cold after he left.
Reach home..

2008-12-13T03:03:00.001+08:00

couldnt get out of my bed, that laziness of me was stretching.
Meeting project members at 2.30pm.
I am the first one to reach, followed by another.
we doesnt noe what to start, however i rmb what the teacher wants.
zhimin and vincent have their own ideas, i have my say too.
but i decided to take theirs cos i dun hav the persuasion to them.
No evidence or lousy english to take on them.
So my ideas were being overtaken by them.
haiis, so pissed off. I almost wann to show my anger.
Well, i really dun understand.
About 7pm, zhimin & me meeting waiwai at dhoby ghaut,
but she called & say she had taken dinner.
Yoshinoya 's salmon w/veg meal for my dinner.
I got a crave for icecream, but nobdy wans.
hmms, zhimin didnt get the right information where the correct place we going.
Ended up i took them walked from dhoby ghaut to Orchard.
They keep complaining why choose not to take bus either mrt.
Haiis, they dunno what to do. I took the decision, they nagged. Hahahas...
After which we went to mrt look for them, zhimin tot everyone was here.
Actually only two person were rushing us, DOTS!!
haiis, it turns out to be ZOUK.
OMG!! we can meet them here by taking bus straight.
See~ nobdy asked. Makes things clear ended up like this.
It was full, everyone wearing simple elegant dresses for ladies.
Men were disgusted. Hahas, i found my sec schmates and ite mate.
They nearly couldnt recognise me. Hahas, i dont like this place.
After drinking while playing guessing, b4 midnite i went home with another gal.
In the meantime, two gals had drunk.
I took the wrong bus. 6N and NR6 is different.
It takes me to another part of sengkang which is where his ex lived.
Well, i alighted at punggol and walked alone all the way home.
I am afraid to tell boy, and afraid someone may attack me as they walked pass.
i listened to my music loud, after 30mins walk.
i finally reach home. hahas, am i a ~~genuis~~?

2008-12-11T21:10:00.002+08:00

No more term test!!
Yeah~ i am so relaxed immediately, HOR!
this morning i am so blurred, went to wrong class to take test.
Blah, den went to one stop service lost my hp.
Luckily i found it b4 it was taken away.
Whoo~
went to T3 for lunch and chill out with my classmates.
Poeyes and Coffeebean. Hahas, we chat till 2 plus.
And i went to Arrival hall to chill with my ex colleagues.
Time really passed fast.
Hmms, waited for him end work den tgt went home.
He loves me still?
I dun dare to think much.
My ~~suspicious~~ arouses without action.
i didnt speak anything.
Trust ; Believe
i hope he trust me too.

i want swimming! Can i? Will you?

2008-12-10T00:34:00.002+08:00

giving a miss call to him, its been hours i jus couldnt sleep.
Hmms, nervous about the term test later on.
ended up stomache thru the whole period of the test.
after the test, went to start on my 20 cent fashion.
orh gosh, my eyes are strained..
Haiis, we try to finish as we could b4 8pm.
Bought a bb tea, reach sengkang.
No fate; he oso jus reached home.
I saw someone familiar, makes me feel helpless.
Remind me of the past~
I am scared..
I dun wish to see this person anymore.

i miss boyboy...
i know you are beside me alwys..

2008-12-08T18:25:00.002+08:00

received his sms b4 he went to work.
hmms, i am still asleep.
To think that i will be revising my test,
wont be able disturbing him in work.
Mayb after the test den look for him.
perhaps he oso busy with his things forget abt me ler.
Never thought that;
he called me after his work,
wann to meet me actually.
But i am at home,
so he dun wan to ler.
Haiis, is he alone?
I dun wan him to be lonely.
but afraid that i m naggy to him.
Well, i decided to study outside.
Hope i can accompany him barh.

2008-12-07T19:55:00.009+08:00

i watched variety show since last nite till this morning 6am.
after that i get into bed, sleep soundly until 3pm den woke up.
had porridge as my lunch, prepared notes for MIO test while watching tv.
hehes, went to bath so fragrant!
Then, i went down to buy tibits & yogurt for dinner.
But i still have to eat that "cold cold" porridge.
SO COLD!!
den now doing picture editing for elaine's concert..

2008-12-07T00:13:00.002+08:00

"TI..TI.."
A sms woke me up from dream.
it's only 9 plus am, dardar asked me qns.
arghs~ i am so sleepy still, went back to slp first.
"TI..TI.."
it's 11 plus, dardar asked me again.
i rest till noon den reply her.
hehes, mummy asked me to order pizza.
So we had our lunch at 1pm.
den i revise MLS, & touch up on my design.
After that, went to bath & changed.
It's 3 plus, i went to CP b4 meeting them.
I think i am the first one to reach.
Jess called me, meet me at Mrt control station.
KC came next, den we went to Hougang mall to shop first.
Dardar reached ler, we bought sme things.
hmms, while waiting for Peiting & Janice so we phototaking..
After Janice came, it's 7 plus ler. we were worried that we might be late.
Everyone was nervous, hahas.. I am busying camwhoring them.
The show starts, musics playing enhance thru my mood.
Hmms, not bad!! I LIKE THE CYMBALS & TAMBELLINE.
the show ended. we went for supper. Soyabean~
Home sweet home...

2008-12-04T23:51:00.002+08:00

today lesson start t 2pm, i sleep until 11am den wake up.
I colour again my art piece, and eat lunch.
Faster go sch, on way big drops of water coming down~
haiis, starting to drizzle. quickly walk to the busstop.
I am all wet, hehes.
Reached sch, hand in journal and went in classroom.
Teacher tot i am not in his class wor.
Dots, this time i am with other grp instead of the same gals again.
Hmms, hope that is improvement in this group.
Well, i miss him.
YAO JIA YOU OH!!
den lesson end liao, i went to print my moodboard.
Hmms, not so good.
Next week have to print again.
After that, i went to AMK Hub. Shh~
walk around to look for party use, den saw Beganwan Solo.
Went in; saw oneh oneh no more liao so sad. Otherwise i wan buy for auntie de.

2008-12-03T22:01:00.002+08:00

going for an hour lesson, be japanese girl during inter-culture conversation. Some are elderly, big policeman, bus captain and chinese boy. Hahas, den done our quiz liao, went home skipping the MODSIM lec. opps! go home faster do my 20 cen fashion and discovery journal.
My goody lecturer christine help me touch up on my silouttees. It became so glamourous.
Add on with my designs, i love it!
facing my good dardar, her tears dripping with stresses.. makes me so "WU NAI", i try to make her laugh and tel her this is the fact. Jus bother about herself jiu hao. She is jus ~~like~~ tt. Haiis, hope she can take up the pride and face them. Crying today, after most tomorrow will be another new day.
Reach home, eat longans and done my colourings. YEAH!!
now; left MLS, MIO. hmms~ jia you orh.

2008-12-02T14:30:00.002+08:00

last nite he said that he will give me a call today.
but i waited till noon, no answers from him.
i know he is concentrating on his test coming soon.
Hmms, so supportive words gave to him;
same reply given from him after i send him.
hope he can sense my support for him.

2008-12-01T20:46:00.002+08:00

haiis haiis haiis,
someone been naggin & naggin non-stop about china women.
its a miserable situation happened to my relative, my uncle married to a china.
She became very lazy and all depends on my grandmother.
She doesnt want to work, wann to go back to china. Parents and grandparents and aunties uncles were very frustrated, gossips all around since last week. complains about health, work issue and more more.
My head are in pain, noise buzzing around my ears. Arrgh..
Its not my business, as long as got angbao at the end of the day. I dun care my uncle want to marry who, vietamese or china or malaysian.
As long she dont treat me bad jiu hao ler, such as my second ah kim.
My memory no longer has this auntie ler, her arrogance and ignorance makes me feel so ~~yucks~~. i hate her the rest of my life. I wont invite the whole family for my any events.
I am sure my other relatives dun wish to see her at all. But family still blood & flesh, but pls dun affect the next generation. is it concern or pinching a salt on it? pls we can see in our own eyes, we dun need ur bad mouthed.

finished my last quiz this week, after lessons went for project discussion.
Hmms, Dreamweaver uh!! how to use you neh?

Event planning;
wedding rings, bells bells and roses~
boyboy mus jia you orh!!

I LOVE PURPLE WEDDINGS!

2008-11-30T21:05:00.002+08:00

It was sunday wor, i tot it was monday.
So blur.. confused our leader and myself.
submission of procoi is today 9am. Hahas, i print halfway no ink.
Mus wait until tml morning faster print lor.
thinking of not disturbing him anymore, cos he having his test.
Me too. thinking that still have few more mths to go. I had done some of his presents liao.
Left those things only can prepare by that month. Hahas, cannort give too much hints.
Does he still reading my blog?

2008-11-29T14:27:00.002+08:00

am i so useless?
All the while he doesnt need my help, but i am trying to do my part.
He admitted that he was in wrong, i heard him saying sorry that's all.
I know he wanted to matchmake the two silly boy & girl.
But he had already tipsy, he left me alone. Go around holding their hands, toking craps and logics. My heartbrokes. I wanted to help him reduce pain, but he rather ask others also dun wan me. I am upset, looking at him trying to smile infront of others.
However, he did asked me & called for my name that he can protect me, can send me home.
Right, he still wan to be strong in front of me. Why? I prefer him to be weak in front of me cos this is whom i fall in love to.
Only left the two of us, i couldnt sleep well till morning. Cos he felt miserable, head spin. So i gave him hot ginseng tea, put towel let him rest. But he every few hours will wake up, feeling wann vomit so i stay beside him see what i can help. Finally its 8am, he was slightly awake den he went home ler.