Finally back to blog again, this week happens alot of things to me. Let me talk abt my birthday barh. Hmms, after meeting boy boy at TM mrt station. I felt very disappointed that he expect me to go & find him and wait for him worr. Hergh!! Well, i am nort angrying jus disappoint. Then, we went to City hall. Orh, my heels is killing me. I tolerated. Boy boy still nv decide where to eat. Horh, so i quickly settle down & eat. Hmms, first station is GENKI SUSHI. Then, we shop ard marina sq. Actually i wann to buy a dress derh. but boy boy said that the dress worn in me is nort nice. So i didnt bought it. Haiis, i spent so long making up & dressed up. Didnt heard frm him any praising, i felt very upset. Hmms, next station we went to BUGIS. orh when i saw Luo Zhi Xiang SHOW autograph session. It surprises me. Hahas, Boy boy say he came here is celebrating for me. Diao!! Then, we went in to take neo prints. I didnt expect that boyboy will pay for it. Hmms, den as we took, he hugged me. I felt quite happiness derh. Dunno what to say.
Though when decorating the picture, boy boy messed it up. But i still nv angry wif him and still continue decorating well mine. I am happy :)
After that, he held my hand tgt walk thru the bugis street. So xin fu!! Orh, my feet cant take it anymore. I sat down along the path and we chat quite happily derh. I knew he felt tired. So i very appreciate his efforts for him. Third, We went to his work place- TOPONE KTV. actually we intend to spend till 5am derh. but becos i have to go for work so he ask me to go back early. Talking abt these let me remind of what he had done for me. First is searching for my new songs, next is putting own dedicated words on the tv. Then, lastly a surprise birthday cake frm him. Hahas, though i really dun like the type of the cake but i know is his efforts. The drawings that he designed is so unique. I nv had b4. Here telling boy boy that actually my favourite cake is black forest cake esp got alot fresh cream & spongy cake within it. Kekes, one thing is i got flu. Very badly, i couldnt hear properly what they say. I sang wholeheartedly and hope that he knows my feelings. But he did not realised my situation. Well, i am already happy that he had done so much for me esp he still rmbs my words. A couple thing, he bought me a bracelet.
Haiis, this held in my mind for very long time. I am wondering why he done so much for me. Does he loves me? Somemore buy ourself a couple bracelet. he told me that he dunno. I felt so disappointed. Feeling that he is nort jus being irresponsible towards me and still escaping himself.
I dont intend to force him to give me an answer, but i got a strong feeling that we cant be tgt anymore. becos days by days we have been drifting far apart. And no matter how i trust him, or he do contact me, i still cant conclude that we are truely loving each other. Maybe who noes, i am the one who is wishing thinking only. Cos i know now he is jus focusing on his career and studies doesnt wish to think abt his relationship problem and nv wann to go and have thoughts of whether does he really loves me or nort. Now i really dunno when he will have a thought for his own true love. Currently, i realli hope that there is someone who can cares abt me & loves me wholehearted jus like being wooed feelings. At here, i wish to tell boy boy that, i am sorry that i let you disappointed again. becos i couldnt able to study well. I am very frustrating abt my situation & my feelings. More over, my confidence is getting very slim. Due to these stress i gave myself, lead to my depression. I am struggling hard to finish and cope with my studies.
Haiis, i wann to share wif boy boy but i dun wann let him to troubled over my affairs and let him so frustrated. No one will wann to carry any burden, esp i believed that he oso do have his own problems to solve. Hmms, guess what is my three wishes for my this year resolution. Firstly i wann to be wif boyboy alwys nv apart. Secondly, i hope that i can graduated this year. Thirdly, a warm happiness for my family and boyboy. Wo zhen derh hen xi wang, ni neng zhao dao ni zheng zheng de xin fu. Wo hen xiang ni.
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